Reply to Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is my very close friend and she has many good qualities.
She and her DH make combined about 280k in very secure jobs.
Every time I’ve been to their house they’ve had food around that her husband picked up from a church that was giving away food.
I’ve always had some discomfort with the fact that they’ve been picking up this food, and clothes too, when it is clearly meant for people who are needy, but kind of let it go as they are just kind of quirky people, I guess.
They have also been picking up school “grab n go” meals for the last several months since it was announced that the meals would be made available to whoever wanted them.
I do know that the husband is ALWAYS extremely cheap and controlling about everything and wants to become rich.
I went on a trip with this friend recently, with all of our kids.
She had packed a bunch of this free food, of course. Her kids eat about twice what mine do and it is mostly junk and carbs. Incidentally, one of her kids is overweight and another has major behavior issues and I hardly think that a steady diet of cheap bread and lucky charms is helping him, but whatever.
It was a two day trip and though we did pack most of our meals, she agreed to splurge and have breakfast out on the last day.
The breakfast served was what I perceived to be modest, normal portions without waste but my friend thought “they hardly fed us!” She wanted them to bring out more even though the kids said they were full. 
I think my friend has food issues as I’ve observed on many occasions. She’s not able to eyeball portions sizes. When invited to our home, she spooned half! Of all the mashed potatoes into 1 of her kids plates.

I know someone will tell my to MYOB, but I am disgusted with the whole thing.
Particularly the picking up all the “free food” which is not intended for them, mostly junk, and then doling it out constantly.
I don’t know why this bothers me so much but it does. My family makes less money than they do, but we pay for and perhaps therefore place a higher value on the food we consume. We also go to restaurants some times (pre Covid) and my kids know how to behave in a restaurant and have happily eaten cuisines from all over the world.
It disgusts me that this is one of the ways they save money when they already have plenty.
And it grosses me out when I see this stuff constantly doled out on her kids. 
Vent over.
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I think the older you get the more stuff like this defines who your friends are.

When I was in my 20's I could deal with the cheap guy on the bachelor party, or out to eat who refuses to split a bill because he only had one beer.

As I get older I've come to value my free time / vacations more and won't deal with other people's crap if it is going to negatively affect my enjoyment.

Last year I went to a bachelor party where everyone there was almost 40 and does well. No issues the entire weekend except for one guy we went to high school with who threw a fit over every split bill, who refused to stay in the same hotel as us because he could't use points, etc. One example - We split a bar tab at the pool on my room, it was like $100 each. He said he was counting his beers and would only pay $80.

Long story short, none of us talk to him anymore and we are all better off for it.

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