Reply to If Affair was in the past, do you disclose?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've thought about hiring a PI. Right now I am seeing a therapist which has been helpful. I finally gained access to the bank accounts, which is how I discovered he had been taking out 400-600/month for several years. After I got access to the accounts, he started taking cash from money reserved to pay for babysitters, etc. Any time I asked him about what the money was for, he shut the conversation down by yelling, calling me paranoid, unstable, etc. but he stopped the spending until several months ago when he spent several hundred dollars. He's given me five different explanations, none of which make sense. I know he's lying. I suspect he has/had an affair. I just can't prove it.

For all of you who are cheating, please don't lie if your spouse suspects something. I can understand why people cheat and it isn't a dealbreaker for me. What I can't understand is willingness to gaslight somebody you are suppose to care about. This is what will destroy my marriage. DH just doesn't seem to understand this and is following the playbook of deny, deny and deny.[/quote]

Could be an affair or a drug addiction.[/quote]

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