Reply to If Affair was in the past, do you disclose?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had an affair that lasted a little over 2 years, and it ended what will be 3 years this coming October.  We only saw each other about once a month or so, and it had faded quite a bit towards the end.  Married 16 years, 2 kids.  Spouse doesn't know.  We discussed going to therapy for an issue spouse has, and I question whether I should disclose this, but most of the advice I read says no, to take it to the grave.

I know the consensus on here is a spouse has a right to know, but is that still true if the affair is over?[/quote]

No one ever mentions the impact on the kids. You have 2 of them. How would it affect your relationship with them if they knew that you’re a lying cheater who stepped out on the marriage?

Your affair doesn’t just involve you and your spouse.[b] It impacts the families of both partners. [/b]

Your spouse deserves to know the truth but that will hurt a lot of people. It seems like you should have thought about that before you cheated.

[/quote]

So true.  My spouse took responsibility for pain of other family.  His AP was a c@nt tat took zero blame and used the “it would just be somebody else. I was in a bad place” tactic.  Zero responsibility for hurting other kids/wife.  C@nt.  My spouse’s reaction was sincere apology to other spouse.[/quote]

[quote] That's pretty ridiculous. He owed nothing to anyone other than you, and the AP owes nothing to anyone other than her husband. [b]You just can't accept that he did it, and want to blame someone else. Keep blaming him- he is the one who MARRIED YOU.[/b][/quote]

This!

The AP owes you no loyalty or explanation.
Additionally, you aren't entitled to the play by play synopsis of what she told her husband and kids, because that has NOTHING to do with you.

Your husband is the only one who owed you loyalty, your husband's is the only explanation that you're entitled to.

You sound like you're making excuses for your husband so you can stay in the marriage, because blaming someone else takes the attention off of him.

You continually blame the "c@nt" AP,  but I got news for you, lady... your husband is just as much of a c@nt as the AP is, and definitely more so.
[/quote]

Onto your next AM partner, KR! Keep telling yourself you are doing nothing wrong.  Are we at #4 yet? 50...an aging wore is an awful look.[/quote]

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