Reply to I’m married and I have developed feelings for a friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I could have written almost everything you wrote.  In my logical brain, I have decided:
- this is about dissatisfaction with my marriage not about the object of my infatuation.  I need to figure the marriage out first.  There is no way to know if the other guy would be a good partner and the answer to the first question should be the right one regardless of that.
- having an affair would be a cowardly escape route that I would deeply regret and that would be incredibly hurtful and end terribly.
Yet my lizard brain won’t stop thinking about this man. I thought quarantine would help but it hasn’t. I lose sleep frequently thinking about him/us.  What to do about that? I don’t have a clue.  
Sorry... I offer empathy. [/quote]
Thank you. Your response really resonated with me as I am finding at very difficult to tamp down these thoughts/feelings. I agree it is in part a symptom of my dissatisfaction in the marriage, but I am not sure what to do next to figure out that bit. DH refuses therapy and especially now when it’s basically all virtual therapy. Ugh. [/quote]

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