Reply to I’m really sad about who my son is

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=mermaidkitchen]Love him. Show him you love him. Ask him what he wants for his life. Help him reach those goals while holding your own boundaries (ie living in your home smoking weed is not a life goal that would work for you). At 17 he is pretty much in charge of his own destiny. At the same time, he may be "resting" before he is ready to launch into life. Give him some space to make these decisions. The weed use is almost definitely self medication for anxiety/depression and he may stuck in a weed rut. If you can talk to him calmly about his use and why he uses and how it may be affecting him, you might lay the groundwork for him to moderate his own behavior.[/quote]

Thanks! I’m trying this approach, I really am.   Think I’m just tired as been in the house together with few breaks per Covid since March! 
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Love is the way to go! OP - I could have written your post, in fact I had to look at the date it was written! Ha! Our oldest is extremely similar to yours, and turns 17 this summer. Out of complete and total frustration we sent him to military school a couple of years ago. It woke him up, no doubt, scared this shit of him, too, and then stressed him out to the max.

The thing I have always know about my son, that I think my husband wants to fix, is that he is very sensitive to all the good and negative energy around him (common for ADHD kids). Anyway, military school was depressing for him in a sense that I didn't anticpate -- he got stressed because other kids were more stressed than he was and he worried for them.

Long and short of it -- let him be him. The end. They are too smart to force them to do things they don't want to do and too sensitive. Real emotional harm happens when they are in situations that they are not comfortable with. Let him find his way with lots, and lots, of road blocks, and arrows pointing him in the right direction.

My son loves pot. It's something that I sometimes look the other way on because he does so well in school, and sometimes I don't. In the end, I have very open and honest conversations with him. His smart he gets it about pot -- he also know how it medicates him in a way that quiets his brain that Prozac never did. He hated prozac and frankly I didn't like the personality changes it brought on either.

Trust your son. Love him. Kids like ours really are very smart and talented. They just need extra TLC to get through it all. Things will be okay. 
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PP do you expect your son to go to college or get a job and become financially independent? Is he working towards that?[/quote]

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