Reply to J.K. Rowling’s post on trans-identity and modern misogyny

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The one point I will give her is that pressuring/shaming people about not wanting to date trans men or women who haven’t transitioned  is just absolutely crazy. Wtf-if I can have a preference for not dating gingers why in the world wouldn’t people be able to have a preference re: type of genitals? [/quote]

FWIW, I run in very lefty, very queer, circles and have never seen anyone shamed for who they don't date. I have seen people shamed for being jerks about who they don't date, though. So, if you are putting an ad up on a queer dating site, and lead with NO FATTIES, you are going to get pushback. If you just happen to only date super fit women, no one is going to harass you about it.

The point is that leading with exclusionary language is hurtful, where as just having a preference is being human. [/quote]

Let me push back a little bit: So, how would you suggest that a lesbian say that she’s only interested in biological women? Is there any “non-transphobic or non-a$$hole” way of saying that?

As a cis-woman I know I would consider it a huge betrayal if I met a nan on a dating site specifying that I was interested in men, then I went on a few dates and found out he had a vagina when we were starting to get intimate. That would end the relationship right there because I want to have sex with biological men. It’s a deal breaker.

Can you tell me the correct way for a lesbian to express that sane sentiment? Like the exact words she should use on a dating site?
Thanks!

[/quote]

One of the great things about dating women, and dating queer people in general, is that they are (typically) much better at words-using than your average cishet man. I literally cannot imagine a scenario in which this information isn't in the profile. Just as I tell people potential dealbreakers (bisexual, parent to young kids), someone who is NB, GQ, or trans is going to have that information in their profile. If that doesn't work for me, I can just not date them. [/quote]

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