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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We should have redshirted our DD. She has a labor day birthday and is socially immature.  But she was bullied in preschool by both the kids and the teachers, so we had to get her out of there.  Kindergarten was better than he pre-K, but still bad.  She'd been taught that if she asked the teachers for help with a social situation they would just punish her. Unfortunately, she had some speech delays and couldn't explain what was happening.  It took me way too long to sort it out, so she she took everything into her own hands by hitting and pushing.  In K, she ended up in the principal's office 5 times the first two weeks of school and on a behavior improvement plan.  Not something anyone hopes for their newly 5 yo.  Kindergarten was terribly stressful for her. The teacher gave her a sticker for every ten minute increment where she "behaved" and she was held to an incredibly high standard.  She lost stickers for things like dropping her pencil and forgetting a teacher's name.  She developed anxiety symptoms and stopped sleeping at night, wetting the bed and throwing terrible tantrums about school.  She was a miserable and unhappy kid.  First grade is when thing have started to improve.  She likes her teacher and is doing okay.  She still gets low marks for "teamwork" and can't do group projects without teacher support.  She has a lot of anxiety about explaining herself because she has trouble getting her words out.  And she still is largely distrustful of teachers who often don't realize that she can't tell them her side of the story.  I really think she'd fit in perfectly with kids a grade lower.  Socially she would fall entirely within the norms for that grade and that all of this anxiety stuff wouldn't have happened.  Her anxiety immediately goes away with summer break and she becomes a sweet and happy kid.  It seems to be 100% driven by school.  I also worry a lot that she's going to be bullied by the mean girls in older grades.  She's been the youngest in her class every year with at least a 2 month gap between her and the next youngest.  And there are always several kids who are more than a year older.  Of course, at the same time she's academically advanced and has been flagged for the gifted program.  She's already been clustered with the other advanced learners and holds her own even in that group even though they are all fall birthdays and she's 10-14 months younger.  She wouldn't have been challenged at all academically if we held her back.  What do you do with a kid who isn't a fit for either grade?[/quote]

This was me, except I had no speech delays and was too scared to have tantrums. Unfortunately, middle school was much worse. The mean girls in middle school are ruthless. Academically I was advanced. Socially and emotionally, it was a disaster. My parents had been pressured into starting me very young in K because I was an early reader. They STILL regret it. I am more over the bullying than they are! I am not going to lie, though, it was pretty bad. I did so, so much better in outside academic/social situations where I wasn't the youngest. My parents redshirted my younger sister who had a very similar profile to me, and she didn't experience anywhere near the level of bullying that I did.

If I were you, I would have her repeat a year at a private school. You could do that now, especially with the pandemic. Or, find a mixed-age private school that supports asynchronous learners, or one with individualized learning opportunities. I wouldn't assume it will get better in her current grade.[/quote]

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