Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous]The crux of the problem for OP is that sister is worthless. She is married to an alcoholic and won't leave him. She can't be counted on, and clearly her mother stepped in back in the day to help a daughter who wouldn't help herself.

Dad can't afford to pay for help for his wife. Period.

OP, you really have to have a heart to heart with your dad and sister. This truly is only going to get worse. Your mom is going to need more and more help in the next two years. And after that, it is going to be really hard on your dad.

I am in the same situation. People can talk about what is fair all they want, but parents and siblings will just do what they want and justify it in their heads.

If you, your sister and your dad don't come up with a plan now, MORE and MORE of this is going to fall on you as things progress because you won't stand up to them now.

There was a thread a while back that was interesting talking about how the elderly stair step into needing more and more help, so don't realize the amount of help they come to EXPECT. "It's isn't that big of a deal to add an hour on Thursday" not taking into consideration that the helper has already added Monday and Friday--as an example.

Deal with this now, OP, or you are going to be much more emotionally torn and in a more difficult place with your DW.

No question, you and your DW will have to make some sacrifices here, but your sister and your dad need to make some as well that appear equal to your DW for her to agree. And I don't blame her.
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