Reply to Thoughts on grandparents paying private school tuition for one grandchild and not others

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Thoughts on grandparents paying private school tuition for one grandchild and not others"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here. The divorce happened when the child was a toddler. My sister makes more money than any of us. She can more than afford private school or a move, but she prefers to spend it on trips, jewelry for herself and other extras. I didn't stick my nose into her business. At Thanksgiving, when we announced what we are thankful for, my niece said she was thankful for our generous parents paying for private school and my sister jumped in and thanked them as well. My brother asked our sister more about this funding privately and yep, every year they pay for private school. She was proud of it. One of my kids did OT, PT and ST for years and could have benefited from a SN private school early on though, but we did not even consider it due to expense. We hired advocates over the years and made the public school work well over time and now after years of therapies, etc the issues are considered mild. If my niece has issues they are certainly more mild than our child's were early on. Both our kids are happy at public though. My brother's son had significant medical issues at birth and it caused them financial hardship to pay. This is coming to a head now because my brother was furloughed and my parents know. His wife lost her job. Nobody is running to their rescue. Nobody has explained why one adult child was favored and yes, it is hurtful. I said I take the high road with them. I don't my brother's idea of confronting them will do any good and I don't want a big fight over money. I do see this is something I will not do with my own kids unless there are significant issues that warrant it (like medical issues or disability) and I will explain or try to make things equal. I honestly wish I did not know about this. It had not even occurred to me they would ever do this because they even shared a story years ago of their friends' adult child asking for private school funding for the grandkids and how entitled that is. I still love my parents, but I am being honest in saying it causes resentment toward them and my sister.[/quote]

Seems like you and your brother are expecting your parents to be retroactive mind readers.  Your brother doesn't need to "confront" your parents, how about a normal civilized conversation in which he shares their financial hardship and asks for help?  He can even frame it as "because we spent so much X years ago on the medical care..." so your parents get in a "hint hint" way that their help now would make up for years of missed help.

Why does it need to be a big fight? Until you actually know that your parents would deny the help to you or your brother if asked, you're simply being bitter and jealous.

For every thread of people complaining about grandparents not being financially generous there are equal numbers of threads of people who think taking money from parents is bad and pathetic and whatever.

Maybe your parents thought you and your brother would be insulted if they offered money? Plenty of people would have have viewed it as their parent thinking they are incapable of supporting their own family and treating them like a charity case.

To me it sounds like you and your brother are making huge assumptions without trying to rationally communicate with your parents. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics