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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]huge blowout fight this morning :/

sorry, not trying to attention seek, just need a place to put my thoughts out there.

moving and she doesn't want to give my ex the address, doesn't want my kids to know where were are.  i'm like, uhh, that's impossible...and i'm an asshole because i won't ask my lawyer and/or have the lawyer send a note asking everyone to stay away.  the lawyer i can't afford.

and then it came down to just needing to hear her out and validate her feelings, not actually do it.

except i think even the feelings are ridiculous [/quote]

OP, look up borderline personality disorder. Your wife is playing mind games with you and I can spot a BPD a mile away, even on the world wide web based on what you've written about her antics. I was raised by one and I eventually moved out of the country and am no longer in contact with her. It was more painful for me because this was someone who took on a parental role versus your wife whom you've only known for less than 5 years. I'm advising you to not give in to her. Let me know if there is anything else you want to ask about BPD.[/quote]

Thank you - never thought about BPD.

She's gets these manic episodes of energy and will work around the house at her "hobbies" all day.  She thinks she's going to start a farm sufficient to feed us when everything falls apart [note: if we had zero debt maybe we could eke through with family help in such a scenario; but we [I] have giant debts, car payments, utilities, supplies, etc. and she gets mad when I ask how to cover those items).  She gets mad when I tell her I'm busy working and can't help with the "farm".

None of the plans make sense but she gets mad and says we've discussed them and I have a bad memory (which I do, but it's not that bad).

She has a history of "big ideas" - she was a day trader (I never determined how much she made), she was going to be a realtor and paid a fortune for some dumb class she never finished, she was going to be a life coach, she was going to raise animals and breed/sell them (now we just have a bunch of animals that do nothing except eat);  she gets ideas and never follows through.  She went from job to job because of personality conflicts.  There was ALWAYS an issue with "someone".  We have absolute mountains of craft stuff, tools, and supplies we can't get rid of because SOMEDAY we'll use them.  We moved and threw out almost nothing because "we'll use it" - meanwhile if I was in charge I would have needed a dump truck.

Does that ring a bell? [/quote]

I'm the 'She's got BPD' PP. So based on what you've written, she could have co-occuring bipolar and ADHD in addition to BPD. Whatever it is, she doesn't have a firm grasp on reality and isn't contributing in any way to your well-being as your partner. The hoarding is tangential to BPD. My parent was a hoarder too, and it even included animals. Hoarding is more to do with OCD, clinically-speaking, but I am not surprised BPDs would exhibit hoarding behavior due to needing items/animals to fill their emotional void and exerting some form of control over material goods/animals and by extension, the people around them who has to live with the consequences of their decision. It's selfish, period.[/quote]

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