Reply to Children of divorce - how to decide where they live after 18?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I already told my kid that I'm moving after she goes to college, and she'll always have a guest room to stay in if she needs it but she might no longer have her own room at my place.  Her dad might be nicer.  :-)  She'll always be welcome, but I want her to experience life on her own like I did, not assume she can boomerang back and live with me till she's 30.  :-)[/quote]

Wow, why would you do that?  Why not let her live with you a few years so she can save and buy a house?[/quote]

Not PP - but because of this: https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2017/how-to-manage-your-boomerang-kids.html

"...parents have indulged children to the point where creature comforts are expected. "They don't want to live in a one-room efficiency above a store," she says. "They'd rather move back to a comfortable home with better sheets and better food." Her advice on how to manage boomerang children: Don't share the wealth. Many parents worked hard to earn a comfortable life, and their children expect them to share it. "When you hand them those comforts you're cheating them out of gaining self-confidence and pride when they achieve those things by working hard themselves.""

And, when you've got the dynamic of alienation - where one parent viewed the other as nothing more than a monthly check, while openly criticizing them for (gasp!) having different parenting views and just unilaterally making decisions under the constant threat of court battles, well - it's pretty obvious why they might not be super excited to want to keep "putting the kids first"...

IMO, the parent who could never let their little poopsiekins feel an ounce of discomfort can be the one who keeps giving them better sheets and better food. Or poopsiekins can live in a one-room efficiency, like the majority of us did once we came of age, were old enough to vote and die for our country.[/quote]

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