Reply to Do I have a right to be upset with my 25 year old DD?

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Reply to "Do I have a right to be upset with my 25 year old DD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't get how people think attendance at a party is a reflection of values, devotion and character.  It's not.  If OP's DD treats her grandmother well all other times, missing one party is not a big deal.  It's not like grandma was sitting home alone because granddaughter stood her up. [/quote]

I disagree.  Under the circumstances here, it is a reflection of the granddaughter's values.  She values spending spending time with her friends over spending time with her own grandmother on her 85th birthday - a grandmother who has likely done a lot for the granddaughter over the years which probably includes celebrating the granddaughter's own birthdays.  I'd agree with you if this was a random Sunday dinner with grandma that we are talking about, but it wasn't.  The granddaughter can't be bothered to show up for the big events so how likely is it that she takes time out of her schedule to spend with her grandma otherwise?[/quote]

Sounds like it wasn't as big a deal for grandma as it was for mom.  Sounds like a regular family get together.  When my grandmother had her 90th and 100th birthdays, we had big parties at the her church with invitations to the community, friends and family.  THAT is a celebration which requires attendance.  Having family over (which are local) for dinner/cake is nowhere near the same.  Being local, they see each other all the time. With all the local family, I'm sure OP was the only one that missed her DD. [/quote]

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