Reply to DH cheated on me, and it would've been easier to be a widow

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have 2 really good friends 1 a widow, 1 H left her. We discussed this recently together.

It has been much harder to explain to the kids your dad chose to leave you than dad died.

While having a dad die hurts it so much harder knowing he is alive and doesn’t give a shit about you.

The widow says it’s so hard to ever imagine a dad who chooses to leave his kids because she and her H would give anything to be together again. The leaver could be with his kids and chose not to... unimaginable to her.[/quote]

Honestly, you need to work on your boundaries.  You and kids are not the same thing.  It's possible to divorce your wife and continue your parenting relationship with your children.  You and your kids are separate entities, your husband has separate feelings for you all.[/quote]

NP here.  I am not divorced, nor are my parents divorced, but this sounds delusional.  You might have different relationships with different members if your family, but you can’t expect to sever all ties with one and expect it not to affect the relationship with the others.  This is true if you are talking about adults.  It is even more true if you are talking about young children, and the person you have betrayed and abandoned is their mother.  How could you think that would just be completely separate from your relationship with your children?  [/quote]

Many divorced men are still good and present fathers to their children.

I feel it's inappropriate to use the term "abandon" relative to a grown woman.  You aren't a little orphan Annie and no one left you in the woods in the middle of the night.

It's delusional and damaging for a woman who's been cheated on to try and draft her kids into the "dad is so evil" camp.  Leaving you doesn't mean he abandoned the children.[/quote]

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