Reply to Would you let your 14 y/o freshman date a Junior?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is not a question of whether to "let" your DD date an older boy. If you forbid it, she can most likely find a way to sneak behind your back.

If you have concerns, raise them with her as *your* concerns (not some universal truth)...and do everything you can to establish open lines of communication. My biggest concern would probably be her feeling pressure (not necessarily from her BF, maybe from some generic view of what "everyone is doing") to have sex before she's ready. Though you might be surprised what any HS relationship could surface. Even with no age differential, a HS relationship could easily become overwhelming because one of the people in the relationship has a horrible (maybe even abusive) home life or some other difficult thing like drinking/drugs.

Teenagers are not adults, but they are confronted with many adult-like situations. Having a trusted adult (ideally a parent) in their life can help them navigate these situations better, and with less stress. Like any relationship, this could be just fine...or it could be really stressful/overwhelming/destructive. If you're honest with her, she's more likely to be honest with you.

I made decisions in HS that I shudder to look back on. I truly wish my mother was someone I could trust and talk to, instead of someone who was prone to irrational extremes. Ironically, she always talks about how great my grandfather was, because he offered advice not ultimatums. I don't know different than how I grew up, obviously, but I try to be more like my grandfather than my mother. [/quote]

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