Reply to Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  I’m gonna let you in on a secret learned from the hard experience of my now ex’s infidelity —-

Apologies are words. When (if) you get an apology, you will not know if it is sincere or not.  Your DH is a liar and has told you many lies to carry out the affair. An apology may be just one more of the many lies.  Or, it’s possible that it may be the last lie - possible but not probable.

[b]You would be much better off watching your DH’s behavior; that is the real tell.  Is he remorseful? Does he treat you with kindness? Has he come clean and told you everything without prompting? Does he acknowledge that the affair is stems from his own weakness or does he blame you or the marriage?  Is he engaging in DARVO - (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender)?  Is making an effort to spend timely pleasantly with you?  Is he tolerant when you are triggered? Has he opened all the books, i.e. is he voluntarily giving you full access to all phone, text, email, finances, etc. ?

What he does on his own without prompting from you will really tell you far more than any words of apology. 
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THIS! Everyone should read these wise words. [u]Excellent[/u] post.[/quote]

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