Reply to My single friend wants to be a mom

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Reply to "My single friend wants to be a mom"

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[quote=Anonymous]Has your friend kept your children for a week or so?  I "know" your friend through my own life and choices.  I would suggest she find resources for support.  There are groups.  Choice Moms, I think..if she googles that.  I am not sure if you quoted her or wrote something.  There was a slip from She to I for a moment in your post.

I know one friend like yours who now has a dog.  Not trying to be funny, but I think given how overwhelming parenting can be...it isn't a bad idea.

If she decides to go it along, she will learn who her village is and how fragile it is given everyone is so busy.  And family is so far away.  The family far away thing is really really really hard.

I'd suggest she talk to someone about co-parenting...male or female...get some co-parent aunties on board if she cans.  Or perhaps other single parents that can use support too.

Does she have space in her home for a kid?  Does she live in an area where her feeder school is one she would be happy with?  What will she do when she is sick?  What is she, during pregnancy, has to have several weeks of bedrest?  What about if she were to get sick--who would be the baby's guardian if she were to die?

the most difficult thing is childcare costs and for the first 8 - 10 years, you can do NOTHING without figuring that out.  No vacations, no conferences, no sick days for kid...life kind of becomes difficult.  and if she ever gets the flu or whatever, what about kiddo?

There are places, if IVF & sperm donor is too expensive, that she can find sperm donors online.  It isn't perfect...or 100% safe, but it is an alternative way to try to conceive.

it will be the toughest job...and hopefully she will love it.  but it will try her in ways she may never have imagined.  and if she has a child with special needs, that is a whole other layer.  And just FYI...special needs can be diagnosed or known at birth or just be very challenging and undiagnosed.  The cholicky baby that cries all the time and has allergies to lots of things and is socially very difficult, has strong emotional needs, etc.  Love is amazing and parenting is amazing.  But it is a box of chocolates...even when everything goes 'right.'

good luck to her!  [/quote]

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