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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These threads make me so angry and rage cry. I've had a crap day and feel like slapping some of these posters.

My kid has some of these issues. The classroom has been cleared because of him. Do you know what we had to do in order to get him an appropriate placement where he is thriving? I'll tell you:

Thousands upon thousands of dollars of therapy, not including the amount of lost work/salary for me. I don't work anymore because it's too hard to manage.

At least 6 meetings with school a year, daily phone calls, IEP meetings, IEP revisions, FBAs/BIPs,  etc. private testing. Daily phone call complaints from incompetent teachers, psychologists who told me "you don't seem to care about your kid (she got fired)," and a whole host of garbage comments from other parents.

Advocate and lawyer to help us through the process. 
I had to have therapists who were baiting my child removed from the process after they admitted to baiting him to acting out.

More advocate and lawyer costs to get him into his correct placement, where he's thriving and doing very well.

And he's only in second grade. That's right, all of this and he's 7. This is a lifelong process for us. We'll do it again next year, and the year after, and the year after.

You know what I have to be able to do this: Time and Money. A lot of people don't have time and money to do these things. People can't quit their jobs to go to therapy. People can't pay lawyers and advocates to help them. We can and we're fortunate. I go to Special Ed group meetings near me and people are begging for help--they can't afford it, can't take time off, have trauma in their lives, etc.

Yes, some people ignore the problems until it's too late, or don't want their kid labeled, but I really believe that most people are doing the best they can, and, in some cases, they're relying on the school to help them through the process. You can't rely on them. You need need outside help and assistance and a lot of people can't afford that.

I don't want your kid to get his hand slammed in the door, or to have to evacuate the classroom. IT's not fair to any of the kids. But I also hate that this topic comes up once a week on this site and people don't seem to understand the other side of it. The lack of empathy for people on these threads is disgusting.

So I have an idea for you: Go use your voice to vote for candidates that support all aspects of public education, voice your concerns to your school board and principals, work for additional funding for schools, stop bitching about property taxes on your million dollar homes and then complain that we don't have enough aides for the SN kids. Stop thinking that parents aren't doing the best they can. Find some empathy for people who don't fit in the molds. Life is hard enough. 
[/quote]

Everyone - please read this post!
Elementary teacher here in a "good" school.
OP, in my experience most of the cases are like this. A child acts out and the parents of the child are going crazy trying to help the child and figure out what's wrong. They are begging the administration and the teachers for help. Usually the administration thinks whatever is happening will pass and leave it up to the teachers to handle. Some of my colleagues are terrific and will come up with behavior plans and strategies on their own. The rest will overreact or under-react, or lose their own shit and make things worse. We have a few younger teachers with anxiety and OCD type issues, and instead of ignoring small, unimportant behaviors like fidgeting they will pick and pick at a child who they know has emotional challenges until the child explodes.

Believe me that 99 percent of cases of young children who act like this can be managed by a good teacher with good strategies. Sometimes they need another hand temporarily. In 15 years of teaching, I have seen only a small number of kids who need a different environment. They exist but they are not common.

One thing the administration might try is to try to move a child to be with a different teacher. It does work in some cases. When it doesn't it could mean the child is too far gone emotionally and does not trust anyone at that point or it could mean the child needs a different school. It takes a long time to figure that out. I have taught kids who looked like they might need this but then the next year, with a different teacher and more time, it is clear they will succeed in general education.

It is horrible your child is going through this, OP, but I hope you will read through these threads to get the perspective from the other family and other teachers in the building.[/quote]

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