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[quote=Anonymous]18:36 and 8:30 poster here again to say you will also have to genuinely forgive him, and you cannot continue to punish him for this if you want to move forward. You will have to come to understand how this decision was driven by shame and embarrassment. Empathy is the path to healing. He’s going to have to heal whatever wounds he has that made him feel such shame to hide things from his partner because of fear of what would happen. This is often learned from our parents (my husbands parents for example will tell you something food you cooked is PERFECT even if it is literally completely burnt to a crisp. They just tell you whatever they think will make you feel good. This turns out to really backfire for big issues). Figure out where your husband learned this coping mechanism. And what you can do to address it in your own relationship. We had small bumps after the initial big incident. Nothing really financial but mostly still working on this idea that not sharing things can be like lying, and keeping things from your partner because you think it might upset them and that scares you is not okay and leads to more hurt. [/quote]

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