Reply to Never Been Married- 45 Year Old Woman

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a never married 45 year old woman. No kids.

I don't have any more issues than anyone else and in some ways my life has been far more carefree and  drama free than many of my married friends.

I completely understand how different life is for parents and married folks. Most of my friends and siblings have had kids over the years and I have changed my plans to accommodate them 1000s of times. I also am usually the last person consulted about plans as they assume I have the most flexible schedule.

For the most part, I still think I could be in a healthy happy relationship - as least as healthy and happy as those I see around me.

The hardest part for me would be that I have lived alone for 12 years. Sharing my space and my life would be an adjustment. The only person I have had to be responsible to or for is myself. However my nature I am a pretty generous and giving person and in past relationships, I haven't been about myself so I think that is not a major issue. What I think would be the hardest is that I have become very independent and being alone means you only have yourself so giving some of that up to let another person meet my needs or do things for me may be a challenge. I manage all my own emotions with no one to talk to, I come home to an empty house every day and spend a great deal of time alone. I do everything that needs to be done - from home repairs to financial decisions to career changes - all without anyone to confer with or make decisions with. I dealt with a major illness and went through it alone. I am just used to meeting all my own needs, making all the decisions that need to be made about my life myself, planning all my own time, coping with life alone. I trust myself and I think at this point, it will take someone pretty amazing or a love at first sight scenario to change the status quo.

Just to add I do have friends and family (I am not socially alone) but everyone has very busy lives and lots of their own responsibilities and so I rarely turn to others as I likely I have more resources myself than they have.  I tend instead to help others out but rarely ask for help myself. In times when I have, there are people who respond.

I have gotten to travel the world, make risky career and life choices, go on adventures, live in different places - all without needing to consider someone else. There is a freedom in that. However there is also a loneliness. [/quote]

Great post. Very honest. I hope you are actively trying to date. It is nice having a partner.  [/quote]

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