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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can empathize OP.

My husband has zero sex drive, has gained 40+ pounds and become a total couch potato, has a relentlessly negative outlook, and carries about 15% (on average) of the mental load of having kids.

He's also funny, sometimes utterly charming, loyal, completely trustworthy, a wonderful friend, a loving dad, and he's stable financially and mentally.

Some days I think I'm going to scream and that I'm becoming someone I don't like because I'm unhappy.  Other days I think I'm incredibly lucky to have someone I fully trust and can rely on when things get tough (in ways they routinely do with aging parents and little kids).

So here I sit, a decade in and waffling between "stop complaining about the generally amazing life everyone thinks you have" and "do I NEVER get to really be happy or feel less stress or desireable ever again?"

It sucks.  I get it - for whatever consolation a bit of empathy is good for.[/quote]

But have you told your husband how you feel about any of this?  No one can make you completely happy, but it sounds like you still love him and it's worth trying to work together to make you both a little happier together.  (It sounds like he might be depressed.)[/quote]

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