Reply to How to make peace with a mediocre husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can empathize OP.

My husband has zero sex drive, has gained 40+ pounds and become a total couch potato, has a relentlessly negative outlook, and carries about 15% (on average) of the mental load of having kids.

He's also funny, sometimes utterly charming, loyal, completely trustworthy, a wonderful friend, a loving dad, and he's stable financially and mentally.

Some days I think I'm going to scream and that I'm becoming someone I don't like because I'm unhappy.  Other days I think I'm incredibly lucky to have someone I fully trust and can rely on when things get tough (in ways they routinely do with aging parents and little kids).

So here I sit, a decade in and waffling between "stop complaining about the generally amazing life everyone thinks you have" and "do I NEVER get to really be happy or feel less stress or desireable ever again?"

It sucks.  I get it - for whatever consolation a bit of empathy is good for.[/quote]

+1
I know a lot of people say our feelings in marriage wax and wane but I too feel the same way. I think out of the couples that don’t divorce only a small fraction are truly still in love after many years. The rest like each other enough and keep things going with cruises with the grands and interior decorating. Nothing like a new coffee table to spice up a marriage. [/quote]

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