Reply to Could you please keep your kids off the screens when family is visiting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What weird responses. OP, I get why some people think you’re being “judgey,” but I like you and your lack of hard candy and think as long as you aren’t being extreme in your opinion and practice, you’re fine.

Geez— “screens can’t be addictive!”

“You are expecting a 7-year-old to be an ‘unpaid babysitter’ for a 5-year-old because you think they might play *anything* together!” (They’re 7 and 5, not 14 and 2!)

“Kids need ‘downtime’, which involves isolating themselves from everyone else for extended periods of time and almost never interacting with other kids!”

“Thank goodness he’s on his own screen nonstop or he might— gasp!— transmit germs to your child! Germs!!”

Very few parents completely disallow screen time, especially at these ages, and those who limit it rarely do it out of some need to feel morally superior or because they “don’t understand the science.”  Come on, folks.

I think it’s also true that some parents are pretty oblivious to the sheer amount and the circumstances under which both their kids and they, themselves, use screens. They’re in the minority, so I’m not about to blather on and on about the downfall of society, but I definitely know some neurotypical (or neurotypical enough!) kids who ask for the wifi password first thing, whose parents let them cart electronics around everywhere and seem oblivious to the fact that their kids aren’t playing with anyone else. (This can go for books, too, though I’ve not seen that in recent memory— and for most kids, even bookworms, books are less absorbing.)  Like, these parents will go on and on about how much their kid wants to see your kid, and as they leave, they will pose their kid for a pic with yours, maybe having engaged them both in some conversation or activity for literally 5 or 10 minutes out of a 3-hour-visit, and say— sincerely!— “Oh, it’s so great when we can get the kids together!”

And you just stand there like... “Okay...”

Some people, even very nice people, seem to have their attention so divided that they don’t realize how they and their family are experienced by others. Meaning if they have had their nose in their phone for 2.5 hours and interacted with you for 30 minutes, they feel as though the world was frozen in time for the 2.5 hours and they only fondly remember the 30 minutes of time together. But the world wasn’t stopped— it was staring expectantly and awkwardly at the tops of their heads, waiting for them to look up.  [/quote]

I didn’t have a device growing up.  We didn’t even have a tv (80s/90s).  However, I was very much an introvert, and I did hide with a book after too much family time.  You are minimizing that people are telling you that this is relaxation time, possibly the only time they get to do this for the next several months.[/quote]

The kid in question was on his device nonstop from the jump— there wasn’t “too much family time” to escape from. Sorry, but I don’t believe that “vegging” on screens is a rare commodity for this family and can only be enjoyed 4 times per year. Perhaps vegging for days or a week at a time, but there’s no way I believe that the kid in question never gets to “decompress” in this way otherwise and must use rare cousin time to do it. [/quote]

I had to be out by the door to greet everyone coming in.  Then I retreated and read my book.  I’m an introvert, so no, huge family gatherings aren’t my cup of tea.  I’d come out and talk in small groups or play with a few cousins, but when it got overwhelming, I went and read.  I’m glad my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother understood, as clearly you don’t.[/quote]

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