Reply to Neighbors/friends taking advantage of us/our nannies

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“Hey Larla, Jenny just told me that you asked her to be her nanny in the mornings. Why would you do that to us? You know we need her 1-2 mornings a week. I was okay with you offering her jobs here and there when you’re stuck for a sitter and can’t find someone of your own, but if you try to poach one of our girls again then i have to be honest that it would affect our friendship. I worked really hard to find these girls and vet them thoroughly, which takes time and energy that I’m already not spending with the kids, it’s upsetting that you’d try to take advantage of us like that.”

“I’m also going to need to ask that you don’t send Miss 3 over here any more without checking with us first. We love her as you know but preschoolers take a lot of supervision and we’re going to be doing things a bit differently around here from now on.”[/quote]

This is the best post yet.  NP here.  OP, you can tell immediately who the users are, as they are telling you to "be more generous".  Truth is, they don't know what it is like in your situation.  You pay the nanny, you found the nanny, and these people want free care, bottom line. The neighbor needs to pay the nanny THE SAME RATE that you pay your nanny, and the neighbor also needs to supply her own car seats.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could all have other people do our work for us - for free?  Yeah, no.

Firstly, I would be less available.  I know someone who used to call their neighbor, and when the neighbor didn't answer, she would drop both her problematic kids at the neighbors house.  She knew the nanny would not say no, which might be the situation you are in.  Most important, your neighbor needs to go through YOU not the nanny.  I can't emphasize this enough.  These people are users.  You might think they are your friends, but they are users. You need to realize that some people are underhanded opportunists - they are not resourceful, they use other people. Not everyone is a good person like you, OP.

You work hard, you do the work to find the nanny, you pay the nanny, you have your own family and your own issues, logistically and otherwise to deal with, WTH right do these people have? I have seen this a lot.  Just no. [/quote]

What is wrong with you!?!  Clearly you are not a nanny. The OP does not own the nanny. You’re clear on that, right???  So, taking it from there: OP finds nanny, great.  Neighbors see a great nanny. Neighbors offer nanny additional hours (or full time, whatever). Nanny then gets to make her own decisions on the jobs she takes, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it! She can yes and DOES NOT need to ask permission! If the OP wants to reserve mornings, then the OP can.... wait for it...  offer the nanny a mornings position and the nanny can decide to commit or not!

OP, you don’t own your nanny. If you want to reserve her time, then you pay for that. The number one way nannies (especially college age nannies) get jobs is by word of mouth and neighbors seeing you with the kids. No one is undercutting you by offering the nanny work (again, she isn’t your property). If you want a non-compete clause in your contract, then adjust and pay as necessary. If you are unwilling to pay for mornings, then they won’t be reserved for you. If you need mornings reserved for you, then you PAY for that.

As far as the kids playing, I’m not going to continue reading to see what has been addressed. How does the nanny feel??? I am fine with play dates. I will say no if we have other things to do. I am fine with carpooling kids, that’s up to you and nanny to decide. Maybe the nanny enjoys it, maybe not. I don’t know as that doesn’t seem to be OP’s concern. [/quote]

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