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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, I am not buying what you are selling. Sure you could be right, but this is all just too much. It is like she knows you and your family are ganging up on her. If she disliked you, you probably did something in the beginning. There is a thing your brother is doing, and that is that he is gossiping his own wife to you. And she knows it and she is insecure because he badmouths her o his family. I'd be pissed too.[/quote]

OP here. Everything I said it’s true. Why would I lie? Everything was fine (or I thought was fine) until the baby ended up at the hospital (in April) and she got upset at me and eventually left family chat (so did my brother). I then found out and put things together about past things. My brother eventually told me that pregnancy was horrible as well and that she did not want to be a mom, etc. We live so far away and di not see them that Christmas that I had no idea. 
To me SIL was a normal person with a few issues she was working on (fear of flying, a bit of anxiety, etc.) like we all do. I have since completely changed my mind...[/quote]
It is true from your and your brothers and mother's point of view. Your brother sounds immature to complain so much about his wife that recently had a baby. It sounds like she had enough of you. Rather than suggest to your brother that she has PPD you are all ganging up on her, and it sounds like your brother never put her first. And she had enough, this might be her way of trying to save the marriage, before she decides she had enough of a dh that badmouths her to his family(whom he works with!) and who know no boundaries. And rather than advice to your brother how hard motherhood is, you are fueling the fall apart of his marriage. You say this was not like this always, look past your own needs op.[/quote]

+1000

Op you have choices here (1) stay out of it (2) try to tactfully tell brother how hard motherhood can be, and smooth things over with your mom- try to help a fellow woman and mom here OR (3) throw fuel on the fire

And you are choosing door number 3. Not only are you undermining your brothers marriage, this route is quite likely to backfire on you[/quote]

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