Reply to Toxic Mothers-In-Law and bizarre things they do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine did the same thing with a huge grandma shower that I did not attend because we were out of town. However, she never even told us. I found out from my sister in law who asked if we liked something she got for the baby. MIL had kept it of course. While I was pregnant she would go on and on about how excited she was...because she had earned her place to the revered granny. She sent us her credit card bills for all the crap she bought herself to have the best place for her grandchild to come stay and expensive impractical outfits that our kid would never wear. She would try to tell us when she was visiting and when we would say that doesn't work her response was I am visiting my grandchild not you. We would stand firm and she would go on a rant that grand parent rights are equal to parental rights and she *could* take us to court. We said knock yourself out.

She did not dote on her grand child at all. She only showed interest in her as prop or a doll. She liked to show her off but she never wanted to really spend time with her. [/quote]

This sounds so much like my mil. I had premature twins and she had planned a grandma shower without informing dh and I. My kids had long nicu stays and came home during flu/rsv season. They had medical issues and feeding issues with medicines around the clock. During their entire lives they never offered to help. Once both kids were out of the nicu she mentioned the grandma shower we weren't invited to. She wanted us to drive both infants, one was going to have surgery soon, to her house while she took them to a friends for her shower. Most of the women she invited had no clue the shower was for her and thought the gifts were going to us. We of course didn't go. I was working hard on breast feeding and she was adamantly against it. They never were interested in our kids other than getting pictures to show friends so they could pretend they were the best grandparents. They also decided when our children were 2, that they wanted to take them on a cruise. I thought we were being invited, but noooo. We would not have done it anyway. A cruise sounds miserable with kids that young. They wanted to take our kids. I asked what they would do for excursions. Mil told me they had day care and activities that the kids would do during the day and they would eat with them at night. They wanted to take our kids to show off at night and dump in some non existant day care all day. I don't know what they do now but back then cruise ships had no such thing. My in-laws would have insisted on taking my kids and arrogantly assumed they could force the crew who provided activities for the kids to take care of 2 two year olds all day.  I can go on and on about the horrible things these people did and said - even saying I caused a miscarriage when we had been trying to get pregnant and were devastated. They had no interest in us if they couldn't use our kids as props and every year there was less and less contact. They are strangers to us now. [/quote]

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