Reply to Does the Husband backing off and giving space help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see any woman on here saying to forget about sex. 
Men come here asking what they can do to get more and women say a resounding "Shoulder your share of the load of raising a family and having a spouse" and you hear woman saying time and time again that was what helped them get back into feeling like a partner and seeing their husband as the same. 
Men are so reluctant to actually step up and help shoulder the responsibilities of what having a family means. 
The posts that say a wife chooses to not 'tend' to her husband and is choosing other obligations over him like she has some choice in the matter? 
WTF dude. Did i have a choice to have my baby come out of me at 3 months because i was over it and wanted my body and life back? Nope
Did i have a choice that my Vajayjay tore open like a Lays potato chip bag when i pushed our daughter out? Nope
Did i choose to not be able to control my bladder, get an infection and be medicated for months after pregnancy making it physically unable for me to have sex (even if i felt up to it)? Nope
Did I choose to get PPD due to the hormonal imbalances, lack of sleep and a human attached/needing me 24/7? nope
Did I choose for MIL to come stay to 'help' out for 1 week after daughter was born, making more work for me even though DH didn't see it that way? Nope
Did I have a choice in going back to work after 6 weeks even though DD wasn't sleeping through the night (because baby) making me survive on about 4 hours of sleep a day for months? Nope
Did I have a choice to NOT find daycare for her during the day so i could go back to work? Nope
Did i have a choice NOT to feed her at night or pump so my boobs wouldn't explode? NOpe
Did I have a choice to NOT research foods for her to eat and when? Nope
Did I have a choice NOT to buy her clothing? 
Did i have a choice NOT to make sure she always had diapers? 
Did I have a choice NOT to sign her up for Kindergarten (and the testing/appointments that go with it)
Did I have a choice NOT to get her school supplies, hair cut, etc. 
Do I have a choice to NOT feed my family? (a 6 year old can't buy groceries or cook)
Do I have a choice to NOT help her with her homework (reading and math won't be needed in the future?)
Do I have a choice to NOT take her to the Dr. or Dentist (Dr. is required for school and sports enrollment)

This list can go on and on and on. 
Do you know what WOULD have given me a choice in some of those? If DH had STEPPED UP AND BEEN A PARTNER. You know. Researching daycares, baby sitters, foods, car seats. Handling school supply shopping, clothe shopping, food shopping, cooking etc.

Common theme? 
[/quote]

Just here to applaud this.

Grow up, guys. The reason sex stops after kids come is because we don't want to have another kid to tend to when you're not doing your fair share. There is no magic bullet here. Listen to what needs to get done and why. Learn. Help. Help take over tasks, help think about how to troubleshoot, help brainstorm ways that everything could run more smoothly for the family. Take responsibility. Otherwise don't blame your wife if she is in survival mode, doing what needs to be done for the family.[/quote]

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