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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Me.
 
I feel resentful that I’m supposed to just get over my emotional needs. I’ve really tried to clearly ask for a few, small actions that would help. But he isn’t bothered, and honestly doesn’t seem that bothered by the lack of sex. Which feeds the cycle.

Sucks for both of us. 
[/quote]

What were the actions? If my wife started talking about "emotional needs," I'd kind of go blank since the concept seems fuzzy and undefined. But if she asked for me to do some specific things, I think I'd do them to make her happy. (And if they made her more interested in sex, so much the better.") [/quote]
DP.. I think this is part of the problem.  Husbands think the wives' needs are 1. put away dishes  2. do laundry... etc....  Those are needs, yes, but it's not just those specific things.

You are right.. it's hard to define. I guess I would say that as a wife, I want my husband to show that he loves his family by being engaged, and that means helping out and actively showing that he loves his family.  That does translate to the mundane house chores, but if you only do it because your wife asked you to do it, then that's not showing you are actively engaged. Take an active role and not just do it half-a$$ because a lot of the times that comes across as "I don't care".  And then there's the attitude when you do it or are asked to do it.

I know some men complain that their efforts are good enough and wives don't appreciate it when they don't do it the way she wants it done, and I guess I would say that perhaps when you get down to it, deep down maybe she feels that way because it's a reflection of you not really caring. Maybe it comes down to her insecurity about how you feel about your kids, and indirectly her.  This is just my opinion.  I don't know how other women feel.

My DH does a lot, but there were times in the past when I didn't feel he really loved being a dad to our kids, and by extension, that made me feel like he didn't love me.  And that made me not want to have sex with him.  It's taken me years to sort this out, I think.  To me, how my DH treats his children is a reflection of how he feels about me.  [/quote]

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