Reply to Vent about my sister just being a jerk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, for whatever reason, your sister doesn't want to spend the holidays with her family of origin. My father was undeniably abusive to me as a child, my sister never experienced it, and would have the same reaction as you. I too go out of town for each holiday so I have a reason not to be with my FOO.

Obviously, I'm projecting...but it really sounds like your sister doesn't want to be there. It's none of your business. Do some soul searching. Is there a reason she could have for not wanting to be there? If so, your father's recent surgery does not provide him sainthood and command her forgiveness and presence.[/quote]

[b]My dad didn't "command" anyone to do anything. He asked if we could be together for the holidays. [/b]

I certainly hope he wasn't abusive; I was never aware of anything. My parents have never had substance abuse issues, never raised their voices to us, sent us to great schools, provided us with every opportunity, etc. They enabled my sister's passions and paid for her to go to her dream schools.

[/quote]

And her answer is NO she can't be there for the holidays, she made other plans. She has given you plenty of advanced notice of her change in plans. Is this impacting your holiday plans? Did you or your parents incur any expenses because of her change in plans, do you have to rearrange your plans because of it? Because it seems to me that you have called your sister a jerk, selfish and disrespectful simply because she isn't doing what you/your father want. On this thread you have already shifted all the blame on her and painted yourself and parents to be exemplary. Sounds to me like she is the family scapegoat.[/quote]

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