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[quote=Anonymous]Eh, it's kind of a cliche but division of mental labor.

My husband pulls his weight in many ways and for years this was never an issue, but now that we have two small kids (6 months and 3 years) the burden of all of the planning/logistics/etc. is starting to overwhelm me, and I feel frustrated and we argue a lot about it. I feel like he is just not capable of thinking of everything the household needs and it makes us both really upset.

I definitely don't feel like he is my third child, thank god - he is completely self sufficient and also does a ton for the kids. He is just not as good at the abstract thinking as I am. Just for a small example - he makes the baby's bottles for daycare every day. I've never had to ask him to do this, nag him, remind him, etc. Every morning he gets my pumped milk out of the fridge, the formula, etc. and packs them up for daycare. Great, right?

BUT it literally never occurred to him that the baby is 6 months old now and should start eating regular food. I had to think about that, go to the grocery store and buy baby food, steam some carrots, remember to get them out at every meal. It's just a small thing but it explains how our whole dynamic is and it's so exhausting for me. He lives his life so relaxed because he is comfortable that all of his tasks will be given to him - as long as he executes his tasks, life is good. Meanwhile, I feel like I have to constantly worry because I am responsible for thinking about the thing nobody else thought about.

Anyway, this was never really a major issue for us until this year so I'm hopeful that it's just the strain of the second baby. Once we start sleeping again, the baby is into toddlerhood, etc. I hope we go back to our normal dynamic. We've always been really happy and this kind of sucks.

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