Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow this thread is like a PSA for how dismissive people are of mental health issues in this country. [/quote]

It's super scary how cavalier people are about saying OP married a "man-baby" instead of offering helpful advice to a new mom of 2 month old twins about how she can better support her struggling partner.  Oy. [/quote]
Seriously! OP is doing the right thing by asking for help to improve both their lives. I shudder to think what these posters relationships are like with their own husbands. Poor guys. [/quote]

Really trying to follow the logic here.  If your husband didn't resent his own kids and lash out at you during your post-partum recovery, you must be a harpy?  I feel like you're setting a really low bar.

OP: you said your DH is already in therapy.  Start there.  Ask him to schedule an emergency session to talk about these issues.  He's already articulated it to you; let him do it to a professional who can actually help, not the only person in the world more sleep-deprived than he is.[/quote]

7 weeks into life with newborn twins her husband had a bad few days.

I resent my newborns at 7 weeks every time. 7 weeks sucks. They aren't sleeping, they aren't smiling, they are take take take and you're freaking exhausted. I can only imagine that being magnified exponentially with twins.

I think its telling that all of you are seeing this as lashing out instead of just like...having a hard time. OP never used to the words lashed out. OP is worried about him and OP is the only person this thread that actually knows him. [/quote]

She did not use the words "lash out" but she did list seven [u]separate[/u] complaints that he made to her, all after she had to coax him to talk to her after being cold-shouldered for prioritizing a sick newborn over a date night.  Yes OP is worried about him, but [i]some of us are worried about OP.[/i]  As she admitted in a follow-up, she's barely able to keep her own head above water, let alone be made responsible for the emotional well-being of a man who already has a therapist.

I stand by my recommendation.  He has a therapist.  He needs to go talk to this therapist.  He needs to seek help that is readily available to him, much more so than it would be to a person who had to find someone new/taking patients/uses your insurance.

OP is used to being her husband's rock and apparently he just expects she will always prioritize him above everything, including the health of her children and her own health.  I recognize that OP is trying to uphold what she sees as her end of this relationship - coax him into opening up, find a solution for him even if it means braving the waters of DCUM, try to make him feel better.  I think that's unhealthy for her and she needs him to step up.  That's not the same as calling him a man-baby but I can see where those people are standing from here.  It's one thing to expect support from your spouse but it's another to take take take and never recognize when the well is dry.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics