Reply to OMG, this is so hard and exhausting!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of the comments on this thread are pretty dramatic. Yes, you can survive without a nanny. Daycare drop off/pick up is stressful, but Jesus, no one is dying. Kids are in bed by what, 8? How long does it take to prep for the next day? [/quote]

Later elementary school students stay up later than 8.  And if they do go to bed that early it is likely because they have to get up very early and their parents need to be up even earlier.  I have to be driving to work by 7 or I end up with and hour-and-a-half  commute from Alexandria to downtown DC.  DH leaves even earlier (6:30).  DH leaves work at 4:30 to relieve the nanny By 6 and I don’t get home until 8:00.  Without our nanny, we might not die but we’d probably wish we had.  I would have to get up at 5:00 to get myself ready, pack lunches, etc., get the kids ready and take the kids to before-care by 7:00.  The kids would do before-care, then school, then aftercare until DH could get them at 6, try to throw dinner on the table and get everyone to bed by himself since they would need to go to bed at like 7:00 to wake up the next day at 6am.  Hope they did homework at aftercare because otherwise we are screwed!

Instead my kids sleep in until 8, wake up to a hot breakfast on the table, and the nanny drives them to school at 8:45 then tidies up around the house, runs errands and preps dinner.  She picks everybody up and they do homework with individual attention and get to either go to an activity with friends or just relax around the house.  DH walks in at 6 to find kids bathed, with homework mostly done and dinner on the table.  They have a meal together, do the dishes together, then get to hang out at play until it’s time to get ready for bed.  I get home and we read for half an hour then say goodnight.  I have leftovers for dinner in my clean kitchen and watch tv with my husband for an hour then get a full night’s sleep most of the time.  It’s not a breeze but it’s doable and it doesn’t suck the joy out of our lives.[/quote]

This, this, this.

The FT WOHPs of elementary schoolers I know who aren’t still totally overwhelmed have nannies. You basically have to either have a very engaged SAHP or hire a nanny if you want to both work FT and have any quality of life. [/quote]

The trade off, of course, is that you miss some of the really critical moments in your kids days, i.e., right before school and right after.  They may seem mundane, but as a parent who prioritizes those, you get SO much from your kids then.  I'll take that, even if it means being more harried in some ways, than missing out on that time.  I have plenty of joy in my life, and I also have the chance to be there for my kids in ways you miss when you outsource this much of the daily parenting.[/quote]

Eh. I don’t know if that’s universal. I work from home 4 days a week and have a short Friday (already home and relaxing!) so I see my kids before and after school 4.5 days a week. I don’t get much out of them after school by any means. They just want to come home and crash and in the morning, sometimes, if we are very lucky, they sleep in and then it’s all go go go to get to breakfast in them and off to school.  My kids are 9 and 11. [/quote]

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