Reply to I am a NOVA Soccer Coach. AMA

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[quote=NOVASoccerCoach][quote=Anonymous]Agree with others that this thread has been useful and interesting. There’s no doubt that a lot of coaches and clubs are careless with the players who sign up in good faith to learn and improve.

I’m curious about the flip side as well. I’ve seen a lot of people who seem on the surface to be decent and rational treat coaches absolutely terribly.  If their kid doesn’t get the playing time or starting positions they think the kid deserves, they will trash the coach, club, and other players on the team to anyone who will listen (including on DCUM!). Have you seen that sort of parent behavior in your coaching time? How do you handle it? Is it predictable which types of people will behave that way? Do you talk about problem parents with other coaches in your club?[/quote]

Yes, the flip side happens all the time. I honestly think its because there's so much disconnect between coaches and parents. I think if coaches were to just communicate to parents what they were doing more often than not than parents would understand. You can almost think of parents as the media in professional sports, except in professional sports, the coach is required to come out and speak about the team. Now in pro sports, there are of course things kept under wraps all the time but a coach who does a good job with the media knows what to say and how to phrase things so things are kept at the bay. My belief is that because coaches don't communicate to parents at all, that's why parents go nuts. I think if coaches sent an email out or something if they do anything they know from the ordinary eye is out of turn, and just explain themselves to a very basic degree, parents would be satisfied.

Having said that, if you are a parent, stay in line with your coach. If you want your kid to get more playing time you absolutely cannot go bezerk with your coach. If your player isn't getting enough time, get your player to ask the coach, that's the best solution. If you really have to step in, email/talk to the coach and say "Hey, my kid doesn't seem to be getting X playing time [b]which I can understand and respect[/b]. What are ways/things my kid needs to improve on and what can he do at home so he can earn more time?" If things don't get better, just move clubs. Plain and simple.

TLDR: Be respectful to your coach and your player will be in good standing. If you are a dick to your coach things are going to start going south. Not because the coach will punish your kid because of your behavior (some do though which I think sometimes is reasonable if the parent really is going nuts) but you have to realize your kid is a representation of not only himself/herself but also you as well. You are directly associated with your kid, there's no way to remove that connection if you are acting out.[/quote]

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