Reply to BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's a big difference between having a work commitment you can't get out of and not going because you just don't feel like it and don't like the groom.  In this case, OP has no real reason, other than she doesn't like her BIL and is looking for any excuse to blow off the wedding of her husband's only brother.  Notice everyone else who didn't have a hard excuse made the effort to cancel other plans and drag their families across the country for a big event.

The one time I think it is fine to use the "small kids" excuse is if you made one such big family gathering and just aren't up to doing it all over again.  So, if you've already done the "show up and show off your kids/grandkids" family obligation, it is okay to elect not to go to another such big family gathering for the next few years.  [/quote]

Different poster here.  I did get the sense that OP didn’t want to go because she doesn’t like BIL.  That said, we don’t know if the wedding is really a family reunion style event where kids are welcome or if OP and her spouse would need to get a babysitter.  At my BIL wedding there were no kids other than the kids involved in the wedding.  My kids were flower girls otherwise we might not have all gone because then I would have needed my parents to travel to me to watch the kids under age 5 so we could travel elsewhere.  If her kids aren’t in the wedding and it isn’t a kid friendly event, I see no reason to travel cross country at significant expense to go.  If the BIL wants one of the kids in the wedding or it is a kid friendly event where he really wants his nieces/nephews  there then I would suck it up and ask FIL to help out with the expense and go with a smile.  Basically no reason to be a martyr if BIL could care less if the kids are there but I am I am willing to go to things that are logically inconvenient that I don’t want to do IF I know it is really appreciated by that person - regardless of past history.[/quote]

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