Reply to my 12year old has received 52 texts from the same kid wanting to hang out

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Reply to "my 12year old has received 52 texts from the same kid wanting to hang out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We let the counselor know and she is reaching out to the counselor assigned to the boy. I did not feel comfortable texting the boy myself because I don't know him well enough to know how stable he is, but the counselor suggested we have him text something like,  "I am sorry I don't have the time to hang out. You are a great kid, but getting so many texts makes me really uncomfortable. I will not be responding to more texts." Then he blocked the number. Not sure how I feel about that because again I don't know the child's level of emotional well being and what he can handle. I won't reach out to the mom because I do know she is a pistol when it comes to defending her son and she is at the school a lot causing trouble.

I'm sure I will get some backlash, but I support my child's  right to decline an invite from someone he already have chances to.[/quote]

No one said he didn't have the "right" to decline and invite. Jesus, lady.[/quote]

OP here. Let me explain. I know there are some out there who would say the boy is simply lonely and needs a friend. My son gave him chances and it is not a match. Perhaps my choice of language offended you, but my point is even if this boy is struggling, he does need help, but my child also needs to be free to decline. It does sound like most people understand boundaries. I do hope he gets the support he needs which is why I appreciated the suggestion to speak with the counselor.[/quote]

OP, I think you and your son handled this with empathy and appropriate boundaries.  I am a mom of a special needs boy (who is 13) and I could easily see him doing this.  From his perspective, when someone leaves even a little tiny bit of hope, he latches on to that and constantly bothers the person.  Luckily, I'm able to curb his behavior, but if it were up to him, he'd invite or go knock on a friend's door 10 or 20 times in one afternoon if they responded with "I can't right now"  In his view, right now means this exact minute, so 10 minutes later they might be able to.

From my perspective I much rather prefer a peer to be nice but direct (I can't hang out/play with you anymore.  You're nice but I'm not allowed (or just I can't)). You can't text me anymore)  Because of my son's ASD, he really doesn't take offense to that and simply takes it as a fact and moves on.  It's only when kids are gray about it (not today, I'm busy, etc.) that he obsesses about it and keeps trying.

I just wwanted to give you the perspective from a kid that's probably a lot like the kid you describe that has no threatening behaviors and wouldn't go crazy if someone just said No in a kind but blunt way.  I know I'm differnet than that kid's mother, but just thought I'd reassure you that you and your son were great in the way you handled it.  [/quote]

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