Reply to Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the OP...[b]

[quote=Anonymous]At seventeen, I would pay for college as planned because she's your daughter. Focus on launching her out of the house. She's almost an adult who is currently an unpleasant person- the hands on parenting to teach respect and kindness is over and the chips will fall where they may.

She may learn lessons after a boyfriend dumps her or friends desert her. She may get to college and be humbled by a strict professor. She may really need someone and have to rely on the relationships she's built vs. family obligation. She may grow up, and there's plenty of time, but at this stage the lessons aren't going to come from you. [/quote]

You make excellent points and I appreciate your input.  I am generally feeling like I will carry the cost, but I just can't get to a place where I will do it blindly with no conditions.  I truly think conditions on something like this are reasonable because it says something about your self respect.

At this point I'm not really talking about the outbursts and anger, it's the ignoring and excluding me and comments (from my OP) like:

“You don’t need to know anything about my college because this is my thing, and mom and I already have it handled. You don’t need to be part of the process because it’s more work for me to tell you what’s going on. All I need from you is to tell me how much money you make, how much you have, and how much you’re willing to pay”.

The underlying attitude and meaning behind that is what troubles me most.  Thanks again and I really appreciate all the responses - this is very helpful.[/quote]

That is probably coming from MOM and not daughter.  My husband's kids did the same thing.  We suspect they got full rides based off mom's income and basically just wanted him to send mom an additional check.  Tell her that if she wants the money, that she will show you all the documents, you will also sign off on them if it needs a parent's signature and how much you will help with depends on the actual need.  A child doesn't need to know what you make or how much you have.  That sounds more like mom.  There is more behind this.  If child support is stopping, Mom may be looking for a way to continue to get her payments.  If she needs money, you can set her up with a bank account or prepaid credit card in your name and her name.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics