Reply to My adult step-daughter wants to move in with us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP. Your condition for her moving in should be that her dad and mom agree to the same rules in terms of getting a job or going to school.

Note: If you undermine the mom now, she will have zero incentive to help when (not if) the situation blows up in your face. Maybe the dad has always been the more permissive “fun” parent and he wants to keep doing what he knows. Be very careful about undermining the mom in this situation. [/quote]

It is obvious that mom and dad don't agree on the rules now, or their daughter would not be trying to swap homes. (If the rules at dad's were the same as at mom's, there'd be no point in moving.) If mom and dad [i]say [/i]they are going to have the same rules, that's going to last about as long as it takes for DD to move her stuff to the new place.

Imagine this:
Mom: "Is Larla getting a job like we agreed?"
Dad: "No."
Mom: "What are you doing about it?"
Dad: (shrugs)

And then mom washes her hands of the situation because there is nothing she can do about it and it's no longer her problem.
[/quote]

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