Reply to BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband went solo to his sisters wedding recently and you would not believe the blowback we got from his side of the family. Everyone was shocked that we wouldn’t drag our 1, 3, and 5 year old on a 24+ journey with a 10.5 hour time difference to attend this wedding because FAMILY.

Your situation isn’t as extreme but I definitely wouldn’t feel obligated to go.[/quote]

The reason that many of us feel you have to go for FAMILY, is that big events such as weddings and funerals are often the only times you get the whole extended family together and one of the few chances for people who otherwise not get to meet the youngest and newest members of the family to meet them.  And while I can understand not attending if you are estranged from some part of your family and avoiding some people, otherwise, it is important for the family members to attend if there are extended family members who might want a chance to meet the children/cousins/nieces/nephews and may not see them otherwise.  Think of it like a way to get a lot of family obligations out of the way at once.

I know that this doesn't cover everyone, but it is a reason why people who have extended families (siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc) who don't regularly see those relatives feel the obligation to attend such functions.  Also, it isn't always just for you and your husband.  In some cases, it also helps out your in-laws, like your FIL and MIL who have extended family and allows them to show off their grandchildren to those extended family members.  So it helps them fulfill their family obligations as well.

If you don't feel the family obligations and don't feel the need to help your husband, BIL and FIL with their family obligations at such an important event, then don't feel too slighted if they don't give much of an obligation to acknowledge your priorities.  And don't feel too bothered if your husband and your children aren't prioritized by BIL and FIL in the future.  They may feel that obviously you don't want to maintain family ties and may do the same.

And while I can understand not feeling the obligation for second or successive marriages, this is still BIL's first marriage and the only time you really have such a big family obligation to attend.  So, it is essentially a once-in-a-lifetime obligation that you make the effort to acknowledge.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics