Reply to Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It

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Reply to "Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was also wondering the same. Why mention that the kid is adopted, what does this have to do with bat mitzvah[/quote]

When you go through the adoption process the social worker wants to make sure you will preserve the child's cultural identity as much as possible. The child's culture is supposed to supersede the parent's.[/quote]
That never happens
[b]An adopted child belongs to the family that adopted[/b]. You do not get a foreign child, the child is your very own
[b]
There is no way to preserve a cultural identity that you have never been part of.[/b] You could have awareness of the culture.[/quote]

Uh no, you absolutely are expected to honor  the child's culture as part of their upbringing. There is a difference between exposing them to your belief system and forcing this on them. The child is not a prize you bought. It is a human you have the privilege of raising. That human has many needs.

No wonder in the African American community there is so much controversy over the idea of a white person raising a black child. You are not purchasing a doll that you program. Kids need to be around others who look like them. They need to learn about the culture of origin.

[/quote]

This 10000000+

You have the privilege of raising this child in your family, but you do not get to erase her identity (though many adoptive parents try).  She is Chinese.  She doesn’t not want a Bat Mitzvah.  It is absolutely worth mentioning that she is adopted because issues of identity formation are infinitely more important to adopted people.  She had no choice about being taken from her first family or cukture or home country.  Now that she is a near teenager, to force her to do this...it is the height of arrogance and insensitivity and selfishness.  She deserves some say in her identity.[/quote]

This + a billion[/quote]

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