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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why all this coddling of cheaters?[/quote]

No one is coddling cheaters, they are giving good advice to [b]OP to not let it affect the kids[/b].

Also, you have to remember that a pretty big chunk of the population doesn't see cheating as the mortal action you do.  People make mistakes.  And a lot of people have cheated or understand how it can happen.  No one really knows what went on in a marriage and there is rarely one person solely at fault.[/quote]

"not affect the children"... that is out of OP's hands...THE FATHER has already let it affect the children... the wound is there. Not talking about the elephant in the room is a recipe for anxiety related issues. You don't just ignore what just happened.

We know what happened, the father of these children decided to take care of his needs over theirs. He did not get therapy, he did not get an amicable divorce... he is weak and selfish.

Talk to me after he has gone to a boat load of therapy. Then we can talk abobut... sometimes people make mistakes but dad went to therapy and has learned to have better coping strategies than throwing his children under a bus. [/quote]

The kids will always know, through the other parent. Or friends and relatives. Some of these people must be living under a rock.  Divorce isn't working for the kids, second marriage fail around 70% so the kids are getting screwed royally. [/quote]

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