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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will be the lone voice of dissension. Your brother is trash. [/quote]

You’re not alone. Totally agree. I think OP just struck a nerve with a bunch of spoiled millennials who still gladly accept handouts from their parents so they’re up in arms because this argument is proxy for their own situations. OP, why don’t you just tell your brother that because he’s so selfish and cheap you really can’t respect him and just stop making plans with him. He sounds like a man child. Sounds like family events that involve any sort of purchase are tense and totally unfun. So just stop. And while you’re at it tell your parents to stop prioritizing and accommodating the son they were unable to raise into a decent person over you. [/quote]

I've been one of the biggest "just leave your brother alone" posters, and you have it so wrong. I was born in 1979, HAVE NEVER taken or asked for handouts or gotten major support/gifts/loans from my parents or ILs, and pay my own way for family vacations and they like. If anything, my husband and I treat our parents to dinners and such a lot in recognition of the good family dynamics they created for us. Just got back from vacation and bought a huge pizza dinner for my whole extended family, my treat, because it was great to see them and just easier for one person to pay rather than, "Well, you have 3 kids so your family's total is X." You are so wrong.

MY POINT is that grown-ass adults are in charge of themselves. Stay in your lane.

1) How your parents spend their money is literally none of your business
2) How your brother spends or doesn't spend his money, ***and his relationship/family dynamics with others*** is none of your business
3) Do your thing. Your own, independent thing. Don't make plans with your brother's wallet and what he "should" be doing in mind; just make your plans
4) If something is clearly not working the way you want it to, LET IT GO. Don't keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result...we all know what that is, now don't we?[/quote]

Listen. Paying for a few pizzas for extended family is not the same as taking the whole family and paying for everyone at a nice restaurant for a nice dinner.
I am sure if they were going to a pizza place OP wouldn't even think about making it an issue and paid for the damn pizzas for everyone.
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