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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I didn’t mean for this to happen - at all. I met this new woman while I was gone on a trip, after some drinks, and got carried away. This has never happened before. I started dating my wife when I was 22. I’m 46.

My wife just doesn’t like some things about me. I try to be a good husband. We’ve been through it all together, of course. But there’s a distance between us that I don’t see us being able to bridge. We’ve tried. She’s lovely and wonderful and we are friends, but we’re also - different.

I love my kids so much. Our oldest is about to start the college application process, the younger is starting high school. I don’t want to create a disruption in their lives.

This new woman - I know it’s a fantasy. But she’s warm and beautiful and sweet and it’s nice to feel noticed and appreciated again. It is. I’m not a monster. I’m confused and I’m scared and I don’t know what it will be like to have another forty years with my wife. I also don’t know that I want to start over at the wrong side of 45. [/quote]

OP, I'm a female and not a fan of cheating but I'm trying to be constructive here.  I can understand everything you wrote.  In a long term marriage or relationship the excitement fades, we often stop trying like we did in the beginning and our attention is split between kids and spouse.  It happens over time and it happens to a lot of us.  The one thing I can't get pasts with you is that you crossed the line of having sex before you told your wife you weren't happy and wanted out.  That's what I fault you for.  Now that you've done it I suggest you be fair to your wife since you claim to have love for her.  Tell her the truth and let her make an informed choice.  That would keep you from being a "monster" in my eyes.[/quote]

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