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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous]OP, spending money on other people and buying gifts is not his love language. Or the love language of many, many other people. Stop projecting what YOU want, onto him.  Just because it means something to you and that's what you want, is not necessarily what other people value.

Does he do other things? Does help do things for others (that don't involve money)? Does he listen and engage with your kids? On things non-money related, is he quite kind? [/quote][/b]

I understand where you're coming from with your comment. But the thing is, OP's brother participates in the dining out at restaurants, but EXPECTS other members of his family to cover his share. That's not an OK thing to do to a family member. If he doesn't think stuff restaurants are necessary, that's perfectly fine and he should just stay home. It comes across as manipulative, however, when he says he doesn't like stuff restaurants and THEN says, "Wellllll, if someone else is going to pay my way, then I guess I'm in!" He seems to be fully aware that his parents want him there; after all, he's their son. But he's figured this out and is using it to score a free meal each time, and that is a shame.[/quote]

This is the best answer so far. I don't think OP has unreasonable expectations at all.

The brother seems like an entitled mooch and very rude. I wouldn't invite him to food-related things and would definitely let my parents know that I wanted to see them just us. Are your parents able to subsidize this? If it doesn't endanger their finances I'd say something once but would definitely think less of him-and them, too, for letting him take advantage of them with blatantly poor behavior.  Their money is ultimately theirs like others have noted...but you are free to judge unequal and poor behavior as well since it is unfair to the rest of the family.

I had a relative like this. Never changed and moved to mooching off his siblings when the parents passed away. [/quote]

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