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Reply to "What creates failure to launch kids?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]100 years ago, it was really common for kids to live at home until they were married, which sometimes meant until their parents died if they never married. One difference is that those children were expected to contribute to the household, both financially and through work around the house (cooking, cleaning, repairs, etc.). I don't have a problem with young people living with their parents, so long as they are being adult about it and contributing to the household -- that seems to me just a cultural choice, rather than a failure to become an adult. Free-riding is a problem.[/quote] Lol. I don’t think this thread is about productive adults living at home after college. [/quote] Okay, caveat. IF you are single, in grad school or soon to go to grad school, you get a pass. But if you are an educated, grown ass adult and you still live at home - That is FTL! You don't get to call yourself a productive adult if you are still living in your parents' house. [/quote] but why? my kid got a job in dc, and I see no reason for her to piss away half her entry level salary into rent when she could live at home for a few years and put that money toward investments, a down payment, etc. making bad financial decisions just FOR INDEPENDENCE!!!!!! is stupid. [/quote] Because, it’s not normal for an adult (yes, your out of college age kid is an adult) to be bunking with their parents. How will they learn to pay bills or grocery shop? How can they bring a date home for some hot 20 something lovin’? It’s not healthy and I don’t care if it’s financially a good idea, it’s psychologically a very, very bad one. Or[/quote] Normal? What is normal? People have different routes to adulthood. I lived at home for two years after college, while working full time and studying for the GMATs. It allowed me to save a lot of money, which paid off to this day. I went back to school at age 24, got my master's, and never looked back. And living at home was fine. I know others who moved back home for a few years to help save for a down payment. Or who broke up with a boyfriend and needed a year to recover. The idea there must be this rule that no kid should ever move back home is silly. It entirely depends on circumstances. My cousin moved back home following a divorce, with her toddler, because her asshole ex practically bankrupted them and the divorce cleaned out the rest of what she had. She lived at home for two years too, saved every penny, regrouped and bought a house. She would not have been able to do that had she stuck to living in a cheap rental while working full time. There is a place for a family to keep helping family members out when needed. The road to adulthood isn't always straightforward. I do not justify those who seem healthy and functional who still live at home with no real purpose. I suspect it is not easy for the parents with older adult children still living at home and it is likely due to underlying issues you are not privy to. Their decision isn't necessarily the decision I would make and I will probably agree that some parents fail to build the proper mental walls earlier on that makes it difficult for adult children to find the discipline needed for adulthood. But mental illness is not something I am familiar with, thankfully, so I don't judge either.[/quote]
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