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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I come from a developing country and my parents were also always on the hook to send money back. Here's how they set it up: they regularly sent money to my grandma and their siblings who were in need, plus special cases where a member of the younger generation goes to college (still quite rare) they get their tuition fully paid for.

But they made it clear to all our relatives back home that they were the only ones on the hook, not me or my brother. They wanted to protect us from being sucked into an endless vortex of needs, plus they recognized that to always give hand outs is actually enabling some bad behavior. When my grandma passed away, they cut back on some of their financial contributions. When my uncles and aunts started doing better, they cut back further. Basically, they gradually weaned the relatives, maybe not completely, but you get the idea.

The kicker is, when my dad was in the last few weeks of his life, we paid for all his siblings to come and see him. This was supposed to be a final visit to have some family time. One aunt was seizing the opportunity to try to secure some favor for her daughter. She was scheming and trying to wring the last drop of usefulness out of my dying father. We were all disgusted. I mean, it's not enough that my dad had provided them financial and emotional help all his life, he couldn't even be left in peace while dying. That's why I don't subscribe to the blind belief that you always help family. Some family is just leeches, plain and simple. You have to protect yourself.  [/quote]

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