Reply to s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers"

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Reply to "s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, MIL pulls this every year with her "vacation" idea.  I stay home, because we are just different people, and one person embracing the other person's differences simply does not work, it has to go both ways. Plus, I get stuck with dishes and have a hard time living in filth, which they embrace. Sounds petty on my part, but it is just one example.  If the IL's were warm, welcoming and inclusive (to my kids as well, not just me, I could not care less) - that would be another story. They just don't have it in them.

As far as their family, no they don't get along, they barely even talk to each other - (one example) SIL gets along with very few people.  If someone grew up in an area, yet has literally no friends from that area, that is a huge red flag to me, and tells me loud and clear that it is not me.  I have my own family and friends, and we happen to enjoy each other. (Another example) MIL would complain about snow days, even without young children - meanwhile, we (me and my nuclear family) were out sledding together and enjoying the snow. Just one example, telling me MIL wasn't really into her self chosen "role".

That, and I just don't have the acting skills to pull off a whole week with these people, any more than they have the acting skills to pretend they are one big happy family, like they want outsiders to believe.  I don't go on "vacations" for bragging rights, I go on vacations with people I enjoy, who don't have historical friction and hostility so thick you can cut it with a knife.  The IL's inevitably fall into their old roles, and it is just ugly.

DH and I have such limited vacation time, we choose wisely. [/quote]

I think we have the same in laws, except my husband's parents had an contentious divorce. One of his sisters was OBSESSED with having big family gatherings to create what she didn't have. The only problem is she is a hostile gossip who has unreasonably expectations of everyone and then spends her time sulking and being passive aggressive if not downright angry. No thanks.[/quote]

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