Reply to Separating after 20+ years married. Alimony?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is my brother and SILs dynamic.

She was a preschool teacher and she quit when she got pregnant. My brother has always been the breadwinner and person who pays for all expenses, bills, everything.

They then had 5 kids (including a set of twins) in 5 years! At one point she was home with all 5 kids for a year before the oldest went to school. Basically for almost ten years she had young kids at home and for half that time she was pregnant and for about 7 years she was breastfeeding.

Then once all the kids were in school - she did all the house and kid stuff that was during the day. She also volunteered and did errands. My brother has always done all the evening and weekend activities.

It works for them in some ways but she is 20 years in and has never worked and really doesn't fully get the money piece. She always wants more money from my brother to redecorate the house or buy new furniture or a plan a trip or get new x y or z. My brother on the other side feels immense pressure to save for college and to have money put aside for any major issue as there is no back up to him.

[/quote]

Well, what exactly did your brother think was going to happen with 5 kids?  They would need a full time nanny or someone stays home.  Unless his wife makes a lot of money, the cost for a nanny is a wash.

I work, my wife stays home.  She is an equal member of the team and if we were to split, she should get half plus alimony for a period of time while she gets her feet under her.  Lifetime alimony, no but rehabilitative yes.  Her staying home was a mutual decision.[/quote]

Why not lifetime?  [/quote]

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