Reply to 42, not married, have always wanted to be, and now thinking

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Reply to "42, not married, have always wanted to be, and now thinking - why? Is marriage really that great?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Marriage is great if you are married to the right person.

Although as the product of a second marriage I would not marry someone with kids. [/quote]

Op here. Thanks. Could you elaborate on the second marriage thing?

I'm currently dating someone with kids. Also, while he is well educated and has a steady job and good credit, he doesn't have a lot of assets and neither does his ex. They would have been in decent shape if they had stayed married, but between divorce lawyers and running two houses, their assets are fairly modest. And they have two teens to put through college.

While I actually have a lot of assets (mostly in trust)....

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I wouldn't waste my time on him. And they probably should have stayed married.[/quote]

This poster is focusing only on the financial. Op, just get a prenup so you don’t feel like you’ll end up funding a chunk of the kids’ college tuition. Has he said he wants to get married to you? 
I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t want kids. But kid or no kid, having a spouse comforts me tremendously. It’s like living with your best friend. Sharing fun stuff makes it extra fun, sharing sad or difficult stuff from your work day reduces the stress. You have built in care and support. 
I am risk averse so I like it that marriage makes it less likely that people will divorce. Going through tough times as a couple , it really does make you think twice about taking the first step towards divorce. If he were just a boyfriend I don’t think I would have weathered the high stress inducing in-laws. 
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