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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So after every year of feeling disappointed, I told DH straight up what I want. I want him to plan a night out for just us or with friends or whatever. DH has been traveling a lot lately and has had lots of time with his friends and my friends just can’t get it together right now to go out (that’s a topic for another thread). So I told DH I want him to take the reins and plan something. He knows the restaurants I like, the musicians I like etc. We have my parents locally who love to take the kids. But it’s always left to me to plan to go out and unless I plan it then it doesn’t happen. Meanwhile DH can plan weekends away with his friends no problem.

So what did I get? A handwritten IOU on a piece of printer paper for a new purse. I don’t want or need a new purse. He couldn’t have even taken the time to get me a gift card to an actual store or Amazon or whatever. Just a note scrawled on a piece of paper.

Oh, and he completely ruined the morning by picking a power struggle with our 7 year old and giving him a consequence that I completely disagree with, but I couldn’t take back or it would have completely undermined him.

Know what DH does for Fathers Day? A day of golf with all his friends where they get drunk and then come home to a BBQ with family that I plan and host.

Know what I’m doing next year for Mother’s Day? Going away by myself to do something I enjoy and not sitting around waiting to be disappointed by DH yet again. The hardest part is seeing how he’s setting such a low bar for our kids to learn from. Everyone else’s birthdays and special days get celebrated because I’m the driving force behind them. But my special days get a last minute IOU scrawled on a piece of printer paper. So the kids see that mom/wife isn’t worth a proper celebration. Lovely.

TLDR: I finally asked for exactly what I want instead of hoping he’d get it right but he still couldn’t give any effort. [/quote]

Don't host the BBQ this year (DCUM will give you many ideas for bowing out gracefully) and go all out for your bday.  You'd still be the one doing the work, but you'll get an awesome cake and your favorite meal.  Both ordered, not prepared, by you.
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