Reply to Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job"

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Reply to "Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job" - s/o today's NY Times article"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you missed the point of the article. You gloss over the part where one spouse works part-time, but that is a huge element. It sounds like your family is stretched way too thin. Your husband works a full-time job that makes good money, and he already handles a ton of childcare. He deserves rest. You sound like the kind of person who doesn’t need/understand rest. I [b]feel like your ideal arrangement is for you both to stay up past midnight every night handling everything that needs to be done in the house. [/b]That sounds unsustainable and miserable. You need to either have a real part-time or SAH spouse, or you need to lean out a little yourself.[/quote]

I think she wants her DH to stay up past midnight to get everything she wants done. There is the thing. If two people work the house work/ child care should be divided up equally. If one person agrees to be the primary care person, they should be SAH or PT work(if possible). The SAH take the hit on the career. The other partner does not get to write long lists and micro management the SAH.

Finally OP says she can make as much money as she wants with more time. Great! Your DH can become a SAHD and you can easily make up his salary.

OP does not want a DH or partner, she wants an employee.[/quote]

Where are you getting that OP is micromanaging her dh? The reason why she's staying up until midnight is because he's not pulling his weight. In the OP, it says that her husband is not willing to be in charge of kid stuff/he's embarrassed to be the only dad at kid events and only does household chores (like laundry) if asked.  She's not micromanaging him because he's not doing anything.

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