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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "What would you have done in this situation?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you say the truth, "I don't want her on the bike" or "Please make sure she does not get on the bike". Sure Mom shouldn't have let her. However, say ALL that you mean.[/quote] +1 The mom gave you the in with "are you not okay with her on the bike?" You should have been polite but firm and direct in your expectation. "You are right, I don't want her to touch the bike and this is the only place I have to put it. Please make sure she does not touch the bike. Thanks for understanding!"[/quote] OP here and I DID tell her exactly that! I told the mom "No, I don't want her climbing on the bike. It's really heavy and it will tip and hurt her, and I have to leave." Honestly I couldn't believe that I had to explain to her that her toddler couldn't go climbing on someone else's large bike. As soon as I left, I look back through the door and see the toddler on the bike and it's fallen on her. I know I'm going to get flamed for it, but at that point, I just pretended like I didn't see a thing, and just kept on walking, because I figured at that point, it was her problem.[/quote] Is it possible that the bike’s not really as dangerous as you’re making it out to be, OP? Was the 2-year-old actually hurt when it tipped over on her? And when the bike fell on the 2-year-old was the mom mad?[/quote] I don’t know if she was hurt or not or if the mom was mad, because I just walked off! I only saw that she was on the bike and the bike had tipped over. The door was closed so I have no idea if she was crying or not. Not dangerous enough that it would cause serious permanent injury, but yes, she could have gotten bruised, scraped, or scratched up if it fell on her. She was tiny and the bike was heavy enough that it’s difficult for my strong older child to handle.[/quote] I'm on the of the main PP's on this thread. I don't know why I think it's so interesting haha. It's like a college ethics paper or something! So like, what is your main issue - do you just not want other kids touching your daughter's bike, or are you actually worried about the 2-year-old's safety? If you told the mom what you did, that the bike was heavy and could hurt her daughter, and she said to you "oh, don't worry about it. If she gets hurts, I'll take care of it," would you still care? What if this mom is like a super cyclocross person and is really into her daughter being interested in bicycles and not afraid of them? I mean, no question, this mom sounds extremely lax, to the point of being kind of weird. I definitely wonder why she wasn't more concerned that her child would get hurt. I must have a boring life because this topic is just fascinating me to no end.[/quote] Lol it really has turned into quite an interesting philosophical divide! I wasn’t worried about the bike getting damaged, it’s built like a tank. Of course I didn’t want it falling on a little 2yo, and if I were there I would have felt bad if she did get hurt because of the bike. But like I said, the part that was the problem for me was that the mom saw nothing wrong with her 2yo not listening when I told her to get off the bike (though it’s possible she wasn’t in earshot) and that she saw nothing wrong with her child trying to ride someone else’s bike. And then after I told her I didn’t want her on the bike, and I left, she let her on the bike. So for me, I guess it was a respect or boundary issue, or lack therof. And honestly I was miffed! And at the same time I felt a little guilty, so wondered if I was in the wrong at all.[/quote] Yea, I'm gonna say, that is definitely weird behavior on her part. I really can't find a way to excuse the other mom not keeping her daughter off your bike. If I were her, I definitely would've stepped in. But also I would've texted my husband about how annoyed I was that some lady showed up with a bike and now I have to keep my daughter away from it haha. [/quote]
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